Blighted What?

Blighted Ovum, my Dear.

It was 23rd April , Saturday, after work, that we were so eager to go get a scan done.
we got a positive on the  UPT, however, to share the GREAT news with our families, we wanted to get a scan to get a confirmation.The next day, would be Easter Sunday, and we're meeting my family in BSC for lunch. So we thought that would be the best time to let everyone know.

Then the crash-boom -bang begins. We were hunting for a doc that has scanning facilities here in KJ. Went to Giant, a polyclinic there, they said doc only will be in at 4pm..so we went to another klinik. Qualitas, they said they only do UPT, no scanners, but the nurse was nice enough to tell us to try at another clinic nearby, we rushed there, then the nurse at the counter tells us, the scanning machine is not functioning. I was like...OMG...what's wrong ler...
Then I thought of another place which I searched on the net earlier. Another child and women's clinic in SS2. So we reached there, there was a doctor, there were scanning facilites..I thought to myself..finally..
So when we went in..the standard questions were asked. So, upon estimation we would have been 6 weeks gestation. The horror started started when the doc scanned and was not very convincing.
He says he sees a sac , but no fetus...
I was like..what?..what? what the heck is this? what the heck is blardy wrong?
Then doc kinda said , give another week, then we scan again..if still no signs of LIFE, then suggest a D&C.
I thought I was OK..at the counter settling bills still OK..

Then going back into my car...i poured...really poured...just like the weather outside...raining like mad.
I was totally messed up, frustrated..and everything else which I don't even know how to describe now.
My eyes were totally swelled up, I dunno how to console myself. N was totally lost too. but he tried consoling himself, saying probably doc could have been wrong, or probably we're still too early to see anything

Reached home, grabbed the ipad...typed and searched..
found out , my actual diagnosis could have been "BLIGHTED OVUM"
whereby, there is a sac, but there is no fetus.
I was torn , confused,and angry.all kinda shitty feelings.
the same evening I had to attend a friend's son's 1st Birthday, and another friends' bangle ceremony.
Oh gosh..how was I to do this?
How to face everyone,when my world just crashed.
I had to ..not much choice..attended both events.totally devastated and lost
I had to turn to God, only he could give me the calmness I needed.


Then 2 weeks later, we made an appt with another dr.
told us the same thing, said I have a miscarriage
I was much cooler this time.already all prepared for the same news
He scheduled me for my D&C as well, after my trip from Bandung.
Thank goodness, while in bandung nothing serious happened, or else I would have spoilt my friends, holidays.

So I came home, then went back to Assunta Hospital, met Dato Dr Menon.
And finally he felt so bad, and he told me that i have a condition called "BLIGHTED OVUM"
He was the only doc who came up with the correct terminology and diagnosis.
So I went for my D&C. All finish and done with.
I was sad, devastated and crushed.
But after taking solace in God and HIS plans, I realised I am just his instrument.
What I went through, has brought me closer to a long lost friend,which I'm very grateful for.
It would not have happened if it weren't for this ordeal.
Gain some , lose some.
But all in all, in our lives, we always have to submit and be humble.
We are but merely His Subjects.
I'm happy to say, I'm able to pull through this phase of my life, thanks to friends and family who were my great support.
And I'm also grateful that I've turned to God in my hour of need, or else I can't imagine being stuck in the moments of grief and not coming out of it.
I pray that someday, if it is HIS will,then we can have a kid again.